When our world flipped finding joy seemed impossible. I’m sure you all have similar experiences in your own life. The difficulties handed to us weren’t based on our own bad choices, or because of something we did or didn’t do. It just happened.
I have been swinging around hitting all the stages of grief anger, depression, and then collapsing into exhaustion. The two stages out of access for me is denial and bargaining. It’s just too late to reverse the path that we have been pushed down.
Truth is This
The moods I focus on become true for me. While I do love a good dark mood every now and then, the slope is slippery. It is easy to go from the touch of melancholy that adds richness to life to the point of no return. Feelings that are too big keep me from being able to make decisions and mother my boys.
There are few things in all of this that I am using as tools to help me carry on. Surrender to the darkness will a halt in my ability to function. Finding joy and reminding myself of truth allows me to make peace with where we were.
Find one Beautiful Thing
The practice of gratitude is what launched my Instagram. It continues to be the thing that drags me into joy when I’d rather wallow in pain. Knowing now that over 10,000 people are finding joy with me just strengthens that motivation.
So many times those first few days I wanted to post depressing photos and captions, but looking for the beautiful as always proved to be the better route.
Focus on what I DO Have
I forced myself to remember the tree could have killed us, that somehow made it easier to accept that it destroyed our home. Every time our boys crawled into bed or asked for a hug, my heart burst with the joy that I was alive to do just that.
We immediately fled that first night to family. So many people spend those first weeks in shock in a hotel with small children. We were in a loving home and that made it easier to find joy.
The stress ended up reveling in the fact that Joseph and I have a strong marriage. The foundation we had built allowed us to comfort one another and pull as a team, rather than turning on one another and creating more stress.
Feel the Arms of Others
Sometimes all I had the energy for was buying a cup of coffee with the gift cards friends sent and soaking in the taste and texture for a pleasurable moment. Then inevitably insurance would call and it would be over, but for that one minute, I could feel something beautiful.
I also would call one of the women from our church to watch the boys. Those minutes cleaning in private allowed me to sob my heart out. Those good cries were so soul cleansing.
Follow Possibilities Forward
We’ve always joked about what we missed out on by living in an apartment. Working as a team to see this as an adventure has buoyed us forward.
Making a bucket list is always something that helps me to get in the right place for new seasons. Making a bucketlist for our new life has been a ton of fun.
It May not be Easy
It may not happen right away, and it may not be easy, but there is ALWAYS sun after the rain. There is always that one flower that blooms in the desert. And when we focus on that ONE spot of sunshine gratefulness and contentment can happen.